the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize