i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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