Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
