look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
