We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
