We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
