Sry I called you an 8
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
