I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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