I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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