it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Found the puke drawer
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
