Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize