god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I want to be your penis for a week.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
