Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
