i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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