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Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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