I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
