Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
