He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
