adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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