oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize