he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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