We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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