I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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