I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
