I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
