Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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