lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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