she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
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All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
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Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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