you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
True strength comes from lack of pants
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
