He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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