I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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