He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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