hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you would pick up someone in the library
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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