69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I didn't notice because vodka
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize