i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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