I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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