i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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