Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize