how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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