Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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