how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
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after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
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Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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