a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
