How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize