My hand turned me down
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
