i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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