there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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