We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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