Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
