yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
