it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
