You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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