Are we in a gay sports bar?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
