Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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