It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
