where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
