the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
