You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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