can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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