Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
