i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
