just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
