Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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