My room smells like vodka and shame
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
PANTIES FOUND
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